Rachel Surtees speaks out two years after her 12-week-old son Hudson was killed. She opens up about her grief, the emotional toll of losing her son, and her mission to honor his memory and protect other children.
Two years after the tragic death of her 12-week-old son, Rachel Surtees is speaking out about her heartbreak, the agony of losing her baby boy, and her mission to ensure his memory lives on while raising awareness about baby loss and child protection.
In the spring of 2023, Rachel’s world shattered when two detectives arrived at her door with the devastating news: her baby boy, Hudson Bibby, had been found unresponsive at his father Carl Bibby’s home in Newcastle, England. Hours later, police revealed that Carl had also taken his own life.
“The man I had trusted to take care of our little boy was the reason he was no longer here,” Rachel said, speaking through tears. “It shattered my world.”
A Troubled Relationship and an Unexpected Pregnancy
Rachel, a respiratory nurse from Newcastle, met Carl in 2022 through a dating site. Both were single parents, and their relationship started casually. After a few dates and family outings, they decided to remain friends. But when Rachel found out she was pregnant with Hudson, it came as a complete shock.
Carl initially showed reluctance about the pregnancy, but eventually attended the 20-week scan. Despite their relationship remaining platonic, Rachel wanted her son to know his father, and she arranged regular visits.
For the first few months after Hudson’s birth, the arrangement was peaceful. But things took a tragic turn when, in April 2023, Rachel received the devastating news that Hudson had died during an overnight stay at Carl’s home.
The Heartbreaking Discovery: Hudson’s Cause of Death
The investigation revealed that Hudson had suffered fatal head injuries, believed to have been caused by violent shaking and throwing. A forensic inquest in November 2024 confirmed that his cause of death was blunt force trauma, and Carl was found to be responsible for his son’s death.
Rachel’s pain was compounded by the realization that Carl had taken his own life, leaving her with the unanswerable question of why he had done this. “We knew Carl was responsible, but seeing it written down was so very important to me,” Rachel explained. “I wanted justice for Hudson.”
@rachel_xo91 Say Their Name – Hudson John Bibby 🤍👼🏻 We remember those beautiful babies who are no longer here.. they matter and they existed and they are certainly missed 👼🏻🤍 Baby Loss Awareness Week 2024.. 🤍👼🏻 #blaw2024 #saytheirname #babylossawareness #babylossawarenessweek #blaw #childlossawareness #fyo #foryou #foryoupage ♬ Dancing in The Sky – Piano Version – Liv Harland
A Grieving Mother’s Journey
Rachel’s grief was unimaginable. She recalled the moment she identified her son’s body at the mortuary, describing the heartbreaking sight of his tiny face, which seemed to be sleeping. “Standing in the mortuary, I saw his tiny face. He looked as though he was sleeping,” she said, her voice breaking.
The months that followed were filled with reminders of Hudson. His Moses basket sat beside Rachel’s bed, and his clothes and toys remained in the house, amplifying her pain. On May 16, 2023, more than 100 mourners gathered to say goodbye to Hudson at Tynemouth Crematorium. “It was the hardest thing I will ever do,” Rachel said.
Despite the anger she still felt toward Carl, Rachel acknowledged that mental health issues might have played a role in his actions. “I wish Carl had gotten help for any mental health issues that I believe led to Hudson’s death,” she admitted.
Honoring Hudson’s Memory and Rebuilding Her Life
Rachel has worked tirelessly to honor Hudson’s memory. She used crowdfunding to create a memorial bench overlooking a beach Hudson loved. “I sit there most days and remember the three months he was with us,” she said. “He radiated joy, and my other two boys adored him.”
Rachel’s grief led her to find solace in the support of friends, family, and even Carl’s relatives. In September 2024, she gave birth to Georgie, a daughter who she describes as a “gift in her darkest hour.”
“Georgie brings me joy and hope again,” Rachel said. “She is not a replacement for Hudson, no one ever could be, but she was a glimmer of light in such a dark time.”
Raising Awareness and Honoring Hudson’s Legacy
Since Hudson’s death, Rachel has used social media to share her story and raise awareness about baby loss, PTSD, and depression. During Baby Loss Awareness Week in 2024, she paid tribute to Hudson with a heartfelt TikTok video.
On the second anniversary of Hudson’s passing, Rachel shared an emotional post on Facebook, saying, “Two whole years ago today my world shattered into a million pieces. My beautiful 12-week-old son was stolen from me in the most horrific way possible, at the hands of a man who was meant to protect him.”
Rachel remains determined to ensure Hudson’s legacy lives on and to protect other children from similar harm. “I will dedicate my life to Hudson’s legacy and to other babies that can’t speak for themselves,” she said. “He might be gone, but his spirit lives on in me and my children.”
